Doctor by Day, Vampire Slayer by Night
by Bridgette Potter
Summary: Oh no there's a vampire loose in the 4077! What are they going to do if it starts praying on the MASH staff? Read to find out who's the first victim.
1. Chapter 1

Doctor by Day, Vampire Slayer by Night

Hawkeye looked up from his Nude Volleyball magazine bored and looked out into the compound. His eyes wandered until they rested onto a female stranger and he really liked what he saw. "Hey Beej who's that over there?"

B.J. looked up from his polishing and followed his buddy's gaze until he saw who he was indicating. He continued to polish his boots. "That's just Captain Carrie McCarthy. She got here a few days ago. I was wondering how long it would take you to notice her."

"Well I now have definitely noticed her. I think I'll introduce myself to the young lady over yonder," said Hawkeye as he put down his magazine and checked himself in a mirror next to his cot.

Hawkeye walked outside into the cool, autumn afternoon sun and casually walked over to the curvy stranger. As he got closer he saw that she definitely had some luscious curves. She had black silky hair that stopped just above her waist. She also seemed to have a habit of swaying a bit like a tree bending in the wind as she stood.

He walked up to her and leaned casually onto the billboard, which she was reading. "Hello. I don't think we've been introduced. I'm the welcome party for this hellhole. I'm Dr. Benjamin Pierce but everyone around here calls me Hawkeye."

She slowly turned to him and gave him a little smile. He was a bit taken a back by her pale skin but brushed it off as her real natural skin color. She had deep red lips that looked like she always wore lipstick anywhere she went. And her eyes were so dark they looked almost black. They looked cold and steely but his attention was more on her body than her eyes.

"I'm Carrie McCarthy but ye can call me Raven. My family in the States always called me Raven for my hair. And just to let ye know I'm looking for a strong man," she said with a rather chilling voice that sounded like it had no warmth in it. It had a slight sexy Irish accent to it also.

"Well Raven would you like to get a cup of coffee at the mess tent with me? I might just be your man," said Hawkeye. He would really like to get to know this vixen called Raven. She nodded her head and he bowed with his arm pointing to her the way. She walked almost glided to the mess tent.

After they sat down with their coffee they talked a bit about their past. Hawkeye did most of the talking while she just listened to him nodding. Then she started rubbing his leg with her leg and he started feeling aroused. She sure knew how to turn him on. That was the only invitation he needed that let him know that she would like a rather romantic night together and they didn't even know each other that well.

Just he was about to suggest they go somewhere a little more secluded the loud speaker crackled and said, "Will Captain Pierce please report to Colonel Potter's office. Captain Pierce to Colonel Potter's office."

Hawkeye flashed his sexy companion a grin and said, "How about later tonight we can get together sometime and I can give you a Hawkeye special?" She nodded while showing him some of her white teeth. He winked at her and added. "How about I meet you here at eight?" Again she nodded and he left her to see what Potter wanted.

As he left he didn't see her frown and bare her teeth and several of them were too long to be normal.

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"What's up Colonel?" asked Hawkeye as he walked into Potter's office.

"You want to know what's up? What time is it?" Hawkeye looked at his watch and paled a bit. "Exactly it's 11:30. You should have started your shift at eleven. Now would you care to elaborate why you didn't show up for your shift?" Potter rested his hands on his desk and looked at Hawkeye hard.

"Well I um sort of got caught up talking with someone and I guess the time just flew by," was Hawkeye's meek reply.

"Well bully them. This time I'll let it slide but next time there'll be consequences. And you'll have to do that half hour you missed after your shift ends today. Dismissed." Potter turned to his paper work and let Hawkeye let himself out.

Hawkeye went to his shift and almost forgot about the date he had until he saw her after his shift talking with another nurse. He slapped his forehead and rushed over to the swamp and got on some more comfortable clothes. At eight he casually walked to the tent and already saw her at the table as if she had never moved. But she did have a wonderfully small dress on.

It was made of a blue oriental cloth and stopped just above her knees. It had a slit way up to her hips on both sides. It was real low cut too and it had little spaghetti straps. It also had a golden thread trimming.

As he sat across from her with a lustful look on his face and he said, "Now where were we?" She smiled and started to rub his leg again. "Oh now I remember where we were. I was about to ask you if you would like to go somewhere a little more private for a little fun."

"Sure I would love to," she said coolly. Her body showed all the right body language of desire and lust for him but her eyes didn't show a bit of either emotion. She let him lead her to the supply closet were he hang a hanger on the door to let others know that the room was busy.

He sat her down and sat next to her. His arm snaked around her waist and his hand played a bit with her dress. Then he started nuzzling her neck and said to her, "Did you know you are one of the most beautiful women I have ever met?"

"I bet ye say that to all the women."

"Well yeah but you definitely the most beautiful of all of them. You body is so wonderful." He started to kiss her then laid her down and started to explore her as she let him crawl on top of her.

Then as he was about to remove her dress she said his name and he looked down at her and froze. As she gazed into his eyes his eyes sort of glazed over and he sat up. She wiggled out from under him and casually looked him over to see if everything was going well. She didn't even hike up her dress as Hawkeye had unzipped it and it slid into a pool at her waist.

She turned his head to the left and opened her mouth wide for the first time she has been there. Her teeth were a brilliant white that shown in the darkness of the room and they all looked normal enough except her canine teeth which were long and pointed. She leaned toward his exposed neck and bit into his jugular vein. And started to drain him of his life's blood.

As she finished her meal she left him enough to still live until she needed him next time. She licked her lips for the last drops of blood that still clung there. His blood refreshed her after her seven day fast. She decided to let her self have a little fun because she usually just let them think that they fooled around but decided to actually let him have a little fun with her.

She gazed again into his eyes and his eyes unglazed and he looked around bewildered then he noticed the half naked woman lying in front of him and grinned. He continued to fool around with her but he soon tired out and sat up. (They didn't do anything. Get your mind out of the gutter.)

She sat up next to him and put an arm around his shoulders. "What's the matter? Do ye feel tired?"

"I don't know. I must be but I didn't do anything that should make me this tired." He sat there panting slightly and ran his fingers through his thick jet, black hair.

"Well maybe ye need to go get some rest. Eh? We can always meet up later if ye know what I mean." Her voice now sounded a bit warm. But of course it did, aren't you more cheerful when you've just eaten?

"Yeah, yeah," said Hawkeye a bit distracted. He got up and made his way to the door. When he opened it he glanced back at her with a confused look on his handsome face and left her to herself to get some sleep.

When he had left she put her dress back on and grinned in anticipation at the thought of her next meal.


	2. Chapter 2

Hawkeye woke up late the next morning. Everyone else in the camp had already gotten up and eaten their morning torture. He woke up slowly still tired and rubbed his eyes. He sat up and stretched. He looked all around for B.J. to tell him about the new sexy nurse but he couldn't find him. He looked around until he looked at his watch and saw the time.

"Holy crap! I slept in that late? That must have been some night with Raven. I don't even remember what happened except I was really tired and feeling a bit drained."

Just as he stood up to get dressed B.J. walked in and saw that his buddy was finally awake. "That must have been some night Hawk with the new nurse. And it only lasted half 'n hour."

"I don't know. I remember feeling drained and tired after a while though but we really didn't do anything. Sure we fooled around a bit but that was it." Hawkeye sat down and pondered that thought but soon brushed it off. "It could be because I'm not eating like I'm used to. That could be it. They've been serving canned hotdogs again."

B.J. finished pouring himself and Hawkeye a drink from the still then remembered something he was supposed to tell Hawk. "Oh yeah Hawk we're a little low in the blood bank and we need everyone to give a pint or two. Think you can give some?"

"Sure, as long as I haven't been a vampire's snack," joked Hawk. He got up and made his way to the mess tent were the blood bank was being filled up with personnel.

Klinger came over to him and seated him at a bench. "How much Capitan?"

"Put me down for a pint Nurse," replied Hawk as Klinger stuck a needle into his arm. Klinger walked away to hook up more people. Hawkeye started feeling dizzy as the blood was being drawn from him. He tried to mumble something but the room around the edges began to turn dark. He tried to hold onto conscience but it kept slipping from his grasp. He tried again to alert someone that something was wrong with him but all he did was slump forward onto the floor and everything turned black. The last thing he heard was Klinger's voice asking him if he was all right.

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B.J. looked down at his buddy worriedly. Hawkeye was lying on a bed in post-op all pale from the lack of blood. His usual rosy cheeks were all flushed and his usual black hair looked dull as it fell over his pale skin. His eyes weren't twinkling as if he knew a humorous joke he would never tell. Instead his eyes were closed and fluttered with sleep. His breathing was shallow too.

He looked at the machines that were pumping liquid into his friend and saw that they were working fine. He checked Hawkeye's pulse and it felt fine if a little weak. He cast another glance at his friend and left to go get some sleep.

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At Rosie's Radar was drinking a Grape Knee-high when Carrie came over to him. She ordered a double scotch and waited for them then looked at Radar coolly. "Excuse me Corporal."

He looked over at her surprised. That was the second time she had spoken to him since she arrived and the first time was for him to take her luggage. "Yes? May I help you ma'am?"

"Yes, I would like ye to help me find something in the storage closet. I've searched before but couldn't find it. Will ye help me?"

"Sure," he said nervously.

They made their way to the storage closet and he turned on the lights and started searching the shelves. Then he remembered he didn't even know what he was looking for. He turned around and his glasses were knocked off his face. He peered around for them on the floor then he felt a strong hand grasp his chin and tilted his head up. Then his eyes glazed over just like Hawkeye's had and he was set into a trance.

Carrie examined her new prey and found him a rather scrawny man even though he ate with much gusto. He looked rather innocent which made them the more delicious. The more they were faithful the more rich the blood. Hawkeye had been a wonderful starter after a seven day fast but his blood had been rather tasteless.

She turned Radar's head to the side and bite into him. He made an involuntary moan as she started to feed. She grasped his shoulders to steady him so he wouldn't fall over as he slowly became weaker. This time she took a bit more than was needed because she couldn't tear herself away from such a wonderful feast. She stepped away and licked her teeth to make sure that they were clean. She smiled and sighed with pleasure. She was quite full with the forbidden drink.

She gazed into his eyes again and they unglazed. The first thing he did was slump to the floor. He sat there a while holding his head and moaning while she picked up his glasses and asked rather innocently. "What's the matter? Do ye feel a wee bit tired?"

He looked up at her confused as she handed to him his glasses. "Yeah, I guess I do. I felt fine a minute ago. Something must be going around."

"I'll help ye to your bed if ye need help," said Raven warmly.

"Thanks Capitan, but I think I can make it."

"Okay I'll just leave ye then. If ye need anything I'll come and help if I can," smiled Raven without showing her teeth.

"Okay, okay." Radar stood up rather confused and stumbled his way to the office to lie down.

Just as he got in the door he collapsed and wasn't found until morning by Potter as he walked in to his way to his office. Soon he was lying next to Hawkeye in a similar condition.

B.J. shook his head as he gazed at his fallen comrades. They were both pale but Hawkeye was starting to come around. His cheeks were starting to color again and he had almost normal breathing and his pulse was beating stronger.

"What's happening to everyone?" he muttered as he checked Radar's charts. Everything seemed fine except his blood count was low just like Hawkeye's had been. He looked like he had the same thing Hawkeye had that seemed to have taken blood out of their bodies.

B.J. sighed and checked out of his time shift and made his way to The Swamp to drown out his sorrows.


	3. Chapter 3

I'm so sorry ya'll! I thought I had finished posting this when I put up the sequel. So here's the rest of the one that started it all.

* * *

Over the course of a week five more men laid in the hospital ward of the 4077th including Frank, Igor, Klinger and two other men. They all were pale and had shallow breathing. They all mysteriously had lost blood. Now B.J. knew this was more than a coincidence. All the nurses were fine and it only seemed to bother the men. And it seemed as soon as they were admitted from the hospital they were back again with the same illness.

He asked Potter and Father Mulcahy to join him in the ward. When they got there Margaret and Nurse Kelley were there watching everyone.

"I think there is something wrong with everyone here," started B.J.

"Yes I think we can tell that B.J." said Potter.

"Now I know this is going to sound a bit odd but I think there might be a vampire loose in the compound."

"What?" asked Father Mulcahy and Potter at the same time unbelievingly.

"Well it seems to make sense. The lost of blood, they keep on being readmitted into here after they were released. I have even found what had seemed like bug bites on their necks which I had brushed off at first but could be vampire bites. I think we should go to your office Colonel to finish our talk."

Potter nodded and they made their way to his office. They settled down and Potter asked, "So who do you think is the vampire, if a vampire is the case?"

B.J. looked around to make sure no one was around and leaned in. The other men leaned in and B.J. said, "Captain Carrie McCarthy."

They leaned back and they puzzled over the thesis. "Why would you think that B.J.?" asked Father Mulcahy.

"Don't you think it's a little odd that all this began just a few days after she arrived?" asked B.J.

"Well, yes. I get your point," said Mulcahy.

Potter thought for a second and said, "So we have to get rid of her. What are we going to do? Run a stake through her heart?"

B.J. turned to Mulcahy. "Do you know how to get rid of a vampire Father?"

"I'm not sure. We didn't have a class on killing vampires 101 in priest school. We can do what the movies do and stick a stake in her heart like the Colonel suggested. We just need some holy water, crosses, and some wooden stakes," replied Father Mulcahy.

"Fine. Now we just have to find her coffin and spy on it until she goes in for a sleep then drive the stake in her heart. Of course we want it to kill her the first time or she'll definitely put us on her hit list," said. B.J.

"Okay, you boys go settle this. I need to go get some shut-eye. I've been feeling a bit tired lately," said Potter. Mulcahy and B.J. looked at him concerned but Potter just smiled and said it was just old age catching up to him. "I think I'll grab some garlic from the kitchen to hang over my door when I hit the sack."

"Or anything from the kitchens will do," joked B.J. Potter smiled and walked out of his office to his tent.

Carrie watched him leave from the shadow of a building and frowned suspiciously at his back.

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Later that night while everyone was asleep because they were afraid about what was happening to the men B.J. and Father Mulcahy snuck out of camp following the shadow of what they thought was Carrie. They each had a flashlight, which, they swept across the rocky ground looking for footprints that would tell them, were she was heading.

As they searched a voice spoke to them cold and distant. "What are ye doing out here in the middle of now where Captain and Father?"

They looked up and saw Carrie standing on the top of a small hill in front of them. A wind was wiping her raven black hair around her head and there were distant clouds rumbling in.

"We were looking for my watch," answered B.J. quickly. "I had lost it sometime today and thought it was back here because I had to go look for the Colonel's horse which had decided to take a little trip. Isn't that right Father?"

Father Mulcahy was crossing himself when he had seen Carrie up on the hill and quickly answered, "Yes, yes quite true."

Carrie looked at them suspiciously for a second but then gave a small smile. "Well of course. Would ye like some help looking for your watch?"

"Uh, uh no thanks Carrie I think we might find it soon," said B.J.

Carrie continued to smile at him coldly and was gone as a flash of lightening streaked across the quickly darkening sky. They both shuddered involuntary and continued to follow were they thought she was going. They kept glancing up once in a while to see if she was there watching them. Carrie watched their flashlight beams dance across the ground and grinned to herself about what fun she was going to have with them.

She danced across the ground letting the wind whip her hair away from her face so she looked like a dancing banshee in the wind. She saw the beams turn off and smiled. They had noticed her, as she had wanted. She let out an inhuman yell that her kind gave when on the hunt. She twirled and pranced across the dusty ground hardly disturbing a grain of sandy soil toward the cave she called home. She slowed down and melted into the shadows of her sanctuary waiting for her prey to strike her with out knowing she waited for them in the shadows with a vampiric smile on her lips.


	4. Chapter 4

B.J. and Father Mulcahy watched her dance across the ground and into a cave that they had occasionally bugged out in. They waited a few minutes to make sure she was in her coffin before they made a game plan.

"How do we know she didn't know what we're doing B.J.? You saw how she smiled at us. She could have figured it out you know. Vampires may be evil but they definitely aren't stupid," said Mulcahy a little nervous.

"That could be a chance." Mulcahy paled a bit. "But she might not of either," assured B.J. Mulcahy nodded still nervous and crossed himself one last time.

They crept out from where they had been hiding and walked cautiously toward the opening of the cave that threatened to swallow them whole. They glanced at each other, steeled for the moment that was coming up and stepped into the gloom. They each took a moment to adjust to the darkness and they spied the box in the middle of the floor of the cave. They approached it slowly and saw that it was closed.

They had decided that B.J. was the one who was going to do it while Mulcahy opened the coffin. B.J. steeled himself unaware about what was watching him from the shadows. B.J. gripped the wooden stake, nodded at Mulcahy to open the casket and as soon as it was open plunged the stake into dirt. He looked at the coffin filled with dirt and saw the stake where it would have been if there had been a sleeping body there.

"Uh oh," said B.J. as he glanced at Mulcahy. "She isn't here."

Mulcahy opened his eyes because he hadn't wanted to see the stake go into her heart and looked at the coffin. "That means she…"

"Knew what ye were up to Father?" finished Carrie. B.J. and Mulcahy turned around and found Carrie otherwise known as Raven standing in the middle of the mouth of the cave.

"How'd you know what we…?"

"Were doing? Oh, come now Captain ye should think me a dimwit if I had been convinced by that lie you had given me. 'Lost my watch.' I knew what ye were doing. Ye were following me to my coffin so you could stab me in the heart," said Raven as she smiled coldly at them.

Mulcahy dropped to his knees and started to pray. "Don't worry Father. I don't care that much for holy men. Ye have a clean taste to your blood. My brother likes that but I myself don't care for it."

Now the wind really picked up which made the cave into a wind tunnel. Mulcahy had to grab onto his hat and glasses to keep them from falling off. Raven's hair was whipped wildly around her head so it looked like wings were protruding from her head. Lightening crashed behind her giving a foredooming feel to the air. She laughed an inhuman and cold laugh at the looks on their faces that echoed in the cave so it sounded like she was all around them.

As the wind quieted down Raven looked hungrily at B.J. B.J. decided to try to get her talking so as to try to figure out how to get them out of this alive. "Why are you here? You don't seem Korean so you can't be a local vampire."

She smiled. She liked to tell her prey a little about herself before she snacked on them. "It started way, way back in my home land. The island of emeralds." She got a dreamlike look on her face and B.J. tried to walk away but she caught his movement. "You don't want to miss my tale do ye?" B.J. didn't answer so she continued.

"Like I said, it all started in Ireland as ye call it. My master or father came to my village when I was just a 20-year-old engaged young woman. He started to prey on my village but decided to keep me as his soon-daughter-to-be. I willingly gave him my life's blood and he eventually killed me. That was when I became a red-blood-sucker. I welcomed it a bit ye could say. At least I wouldn't have to marry that dimwit Michael O' Brian."

"When was that?" asked B.J. He was a little interested by her tale and wanted to know what happened to her.

She pondered a while and said casually, "Oh about a few hundred I believe."

B.J. and Mulcahy looked at her with wide eyes. She was about 220 years old but still looked 20. But of course she was a vampire and aged very slowly.

"Then about 50 years ago we 'my family and I' moved to the land of plenty. Which definitely was a land of plenty. It was like a buffet, as ye would say. We had to move every few months before everyone we knew figured out that we were the cause of the weak men and women we left behind us. Ahh. Those were the times." She got that dreamlike look on her face again.

Then she was broken out of her memories and finished, "Then I was drafted a year ago to be sent to this patch of land called a country. I had to figure out what to do with my 'bed' so I just said ever time I was transferred that it was just my beauty care products. Everyone believed it and didn't ask anything. So then I was transferred here to the MASH unit with the 'best care anywhere'. Now I believe is the time for my feeding."

Carrie opened her mouth into an evil smile to show rows of pearly whites with some that were a bit pointier than a normal human beings. She started to walk toward B.J. waiting to catch eye contact so she could put him under her trance.

"Wait, wait why did you pick Hawkeye to be your first victim then Radar then the other men?" stalled B.J. as he and Father Mulcahy backed up.

She frowned. She wasn't having fun anymore with her food. Her master always told her not to play with her food but she just couldn't help it. She hadn't grown out of that phase yet. "Hawkeye was quite easy. He was the first man to make a 'pass' at me as ye Americans would say. His blood was quite tasteless if that makes ye feel any better. He must really fool around. Blood is richer when the person is more innocent and faithful. So Radar was really a feast when it came to him. And well everyone else just sort of fell for my charming personality."

B.J. opened his mouth to ask another question but she held up her hand with a scowl on her face. "I will answer no more questions. I'm hungry and my dinner's right in front of me just tempting me."

She stepped closer and soon B.J. was caught in her trance. He stood stock still as she moved closer with her mouth open drooling. Mulcahy knew he had to move quickly if B.J. was to be saved. He searched for his holy water and threw it in her direction. Most of it missed but a few drops landed on her skin, which made her, turn and hiss at him. He could smell an acidic smell as the water burned her skin.

As she broke her concentration B.J. snapped himself out of her spell and looked around a bit dazed. "B.J. the stake!" called Mulcahy as Carrie focused on him again. B.J. grabbed the stake that was in the coffin, ran up to Carrie and in one quick, strong trust pushed the stake into her heart.

She let out a blood curdling, earsplitting screech as she died a second time. She gurgled then slumped forward while still on the stake. B.J. dropped the stake and her body and backed up not believing what he had done. The storm from earlier had picked up when she had died and had carried away her dieing scream. Now it was pretty quiet and B.J. could see that the sun was starting to come up.

Mulcahy walked up to him and heard him give a snort. Mulcahy looked at him puzzled and B.J. cocked a head at the now raising sun. "If we had waited a few more minutes the sun could have killed her."

"Remember we saw her walking the compound in broad daylight. I don't think she was one of those vampires. She must be like what Carmilla was," said Mulcahy as he adjusted his hat.

Now it was B.J.'s turn to be puzzled. "Carmilla was a vampire in literature who was immune to sunlight."

B.J. gave a nervous little laugh and looked down at Carrie's body. "We should move this before you know someone finds it." Mulcahy nodded and together they moved her body to her coffin for her final rest. Then they made their way to the compound and went their separate ways to get some shuteye.

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Later that day Father Mulcahy and B.J. told Potter about their encounter with Captain Carrie McCarthy. They decided then to just tell H.Q. that she had went AWAL so they wouldn't have to explain that she was a vampire and that they had to kill her before she killed them in case H.Q. decided they all belonged in a funny farm.

After their meeting B.J. walked to The Swamp and could hear Hawkeye and Frank arguing. He smiled, walked in and was glad that everything was back to normal as could be.

THE END

Or is it?

Half a world away near sundown a strong, young looking man felt a dull pain over his shriveled heart. He placed a hand on his heart and could feel a part of him die away. He grimaced and looked over at his companion who sat next to him. "She's gone."

"What a pity. I loved having a younger sister there for a few centuries. I guess we just have to find a new one and find out what happened to Raven."

The other one smirked. "That should be easy enough. Just follow the path of sick doctors. Are you going this time Drake?"

"Why not?" shrugged Draco. "It isn't like I have anyone else to look for at the moment."


End file.
